Feeling Kind of Lonely

Can I be downright real with you?

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Being a mom to young children can be incredibly lonely sometimes. And I’m not just talking about the fact that my husband’s deployed. That aspect certainly does not help the situation.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I love my children. I really do. I love them to pieces and would lasso the moon for them, if I could. But, caring for multiple young children can be very isolating. Maybe it’s just the desert getting to my brain. I don’t know. But, what I do know is how I’ve been feeling lately.

You see, when there are multiple young children to take care of, the number of people who depend on me is amplified. Of course, it should be that way! I am their mother, after all! Yet, it feels so isolating sometimes.

With my husband not here to help, going places is a challenge. I have to wake up or start preparing at least an hour or so before we leave. And then when it’s time to go, there is almost always a meltdown over a bump in a sock or shoes are lost or someone HAS to bring a certain toy that just happens to be missing. Or someone poops. Happens every. single. time! With three in diapers, it’s pretty much always bound to happen. Sometimes all three do it simultaneously. I swear, they plan it. Joshua must be the ring leader of that one! Then, by the time we get into the car, I am hot, sweaty (remember, we live in the desert), and frustrated. I have time to cool off both physically and emotionally, in the car, and then once we get to where we’re going, it’s a new set of struggles. I think you get the picture. So, I just avoid going places, if I can.

But, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy doing things with my friends. Unfortunately, because I’m a mom to young children (and with a husband who’s away), I’m less inclined to be invited to things. This is yet another aspect of loneliness that motherhood brings. I do have friends, but when I have children to take care of, the amount of friend time is limited. Yes, I am friends with several other moms and play dates are somewhat possible. But, even play dates can be a challenge, especially when you have very energetic children who need an eye on them pretty regularly.

After talking with several other moms with young children, I’ve started realizing something. Many of us share the same sentiment and feel the same way, which got me thinking.

When did this start happening? When did motherhood become such a lonely adventure? Is this a normal feeling for moms with young kids? Is this a sentiment that’s been felt for many many ¬†years? I honestly don’t know. But, I wish it would change. I don’t know how. I just wish being a mom didn’t feel so lonely.

I know that God is with me, and I’ll tell you that that knowledge is oftentimes what gets me through the day. Yet, that doesn’t take away the exhaustion and isolation that motherhood brings with it. There are ebbs and flows. Being a mom is, perhaps, the most challenging, most gratifying job I’ve ever had to do. I just wish it didn’t feel so lonely.

I honestly don’t know if I’m making any sense right now. I came on here to write a completely different post, and this flew out instead. I guess I could just use some prayer, my dear friends. Pray that God helps me sense His presence so much more during this time. Thankfully, I will be taking time to visit family in the coming weeks which will be a huge help! This mommy is tired and somewhat lonely, but I shall press on!

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  • Jen

    Sending lots of hugs your way! You are amazing.

    • You are so sweet, Jen! Thank you!

    • You are so sweet, Jen! Thank you!

  • Arrows and Warriors

    Girl I literally just wrote a post on this last Monday at Arrowsandwarriors.org. I hope it encourages your heart. I know exactly how you feel. I’m going through a season as well. I often wish my husband had a nice stay at home office job. <3

    • I know I’m super late in replying, but I read your post right after reading your comment. It was so encouraging! I can’t imagine the life as a police wife! My husband keeps talking about wanting to go into law enforcement after he gets out of the military. I know there would be similarities, but I feel like police wives endure a lot more stress. I have so much respect for you! Thank you for your strength and essentially your service, and thank you for your Biblical encouragement during this lonely season. I must remember that I am truly not alone!

      • Arrows and Warriors

        AAHH I’m sorry for just now responding. I didn’t even see this lol. Thank you so so so much for your sweet words. They mean so much and I am so encouraged and humbled. I’m so glad my blog could be an encouragement to you sweet lady. If you ever need ANY prayer please feel free to email me at Arrowsandwarriors@gmail.com and I would be happy to pray for you <3 We're in this together.

        • Thank you so much! You are too sweet! Yes, we are in this together. You have been on my mind and heart a lot more lately with everything that is going on. Be strong and of good courage!

          “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

          • Arrows and Warriors

            Thanks so so much!! It’s been a rough few weeks but I know God is protecting him and he’s going to be used as a cop to bless others in this time. I feel so blessed to be on your heart <3

    • I know I’m super late in replying, but I read your post right after reading your comment. It was so encouraging! I can’t imagine the life as a police wife! My husband keeps talking about wanting to go into law enforcement after he gets out of the military. I know there would be similarities, but I feel like police wives endure a lot more stress. I have so much respect for you! Thank you for your strength and essentially your service, and thank you for your Biblical encouragement during this lonely season. I must remember that I am truly not alone!

  • Bailey

    Hugs, dear friend!!! I can’t wait to come see you in California soon!!