Then it hit me, I was not that mom.
This past week, I found myself feeling incredibly inadequate as a mom. It was a rough week. Then, I went on Facebook.
And there she was.
That mom who’s always doing fun, creative crafts with her kids.
As I stared at the smiling face of the little boy proudly holding up his completed project, I felt my heart sink. Instead of gluing dried noodles to paper, I was picking dried noodles out of my kids’ hair. Instead of gleeful squeals, there were tantrum tears. Instead of a wonderful, home cooked meal for dinner, we had hot dogs. We survived that day. Through sweat and tears, we survived.
Tears of inadequacy streamed down my face. I’m a boring mom rang through my mind. I don’t do cool, fun crafts. I’m boring. I survive. We get through each day and are just happy to have made it through the day. Man, I stink at this mom thing.
The tears continued to flow. I felt so overwhelmed. I felt like I was failing my children, like they were missing out on something awesome in their childhood. (Funny how an innocent picture can put into motion such a snowball of emotions.)
I felt so defeated that night and each night after that, as we continued to survive and get through each day. Then there was the other night. Oh, how thankful I am for that night . . . on Mother’s Day even! How fitting. Anyway, most of the kids were asleep except for Ian. He snuggled up next to me on the couch, and his face got serious.
“Mommy? Did you ever get scared when you were little?”
If only he knew! I hugged him close and talked to him all about how I used to get scared about everything when I was little. He then opened up to me about stuff that frightens him, to which I was able to tell him some of the things that have helped and still help me to this day . . . praying being the biggest one.
He seemed so comforted by the fact that mommy knew exactly how he felt, that mommy used to be scared of the same exact things.
After he fell asleep, I sat back and thought about our little talk. Ian is so much like me. He has a very active imagination, scares easily, and is emotional and compassionate. The tears started to flow again as realization swept over me. Because my son is so much like me, I can relate to him! I can help him in a way that no one else can! I have a perspective that another mom wouldn’t.
I might not be a cool, crafty mom who does fun projects with my kids. I might not have crazy fun activities planned each day. But, I do know how to comfort my children exactly the way they need comforting. I do know how to walk my children through difficult circumstances. I know how to love and cherish them.
In comparing myself to this other mom, I forgot one important thing . . . God gave my children to me for a reason. He knew I was exactly what they needed. And, to be honest, they are exactly what I need. No, I might not be that mom, but I am their mom. I am who God wanted for my children. He chose me to raise them for Him, whether or not I’m crafty and fun.
Have you ever felt the pressure of social media causing you to feel inadequate in areas of your life?
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