I’m Not THAT Mom; I’m THEIR Mom

Then it hit me, I was not that mom.

 

not-that-mom-web

This past week, I found myself feeling incredibly inadequate as a mom. It was a rough week. Then, I went on Facebook.

And there she was.

That mom who’s always doing fun, creative crafts with her kids.

As I stared at the smiling face of the little boy proudly holding up his completed project, I felt my heart sink. Instead of gluing dried noodles to paper, I was picking dried noodles out of my kids’ hair. Instead of gleeful squeals, there were tantrum tears. Instead of a wonderful, home cooked meal for dinner, we had hot dogs. We survived that day. Through sweat and tears, we survived.

Tears of inadequacy streamed down my face. I’m a boring mom rang through my mind. I don’t do cool, fun crafts. I’m boring. I survive. We get through each day and are just happy to have made it through the day. Man, I stink at this mom thing.

The tears continued to flow. I felt so overwhelmed. I felt like I was failing my children, like they were missing out on something awesome in their childhood. (Funny how an innocent picture can put into motion such a snowball of emotions.)

I felt so defeated that night and each night after that, as we continued to survive and get through each day. Then there was the other night. Oh, how thankful I am for that night . . . on Mother’s Day even! How fitting. Anyway, most of the kids were asleep except for Ian. He snuggled up next to me on the couch, and his face got serious.

“Mommy? Did you ever get scared when you were little?”

If only he knew! I hugged him close and talked to him all about how I used to get scared about everything when I was little. He then opened up to me about stuff that frightens him, to which I was able to tell him some of the things that have helped and still help me to this day . . . praying being the biggest one.

He seemed so comforted by the fact that mommy knew exactly how he felt, that mommy used to be scared of the same exact things.

After he fell asleep, I sat back and thought about our little talk. Ian is so much like me. He has a very active imagination, scares easily, and is emotional and compassionate. The tears started to flow again as realization swept over me. Because my son is so much like me, I can relate to him! I can help him in a way that no one else can! I have a perspective that another mom wouldn’t.

I might not be a cool, crafty mom who does fun projects with my kids. I might not have crazy fun activities planned each day. But, I do know how to comfort my children exactly the way they need comforting. I do know how to walk my children through difficult circumstances. I know how to love and cherish them.

In comparing myself to this other mom, I forgot one important thing . . . God gave my children to me for a reason. He knew I was exactly what they needed. And, to be honest, they are exactly what I need. No, I might not be that mom, but I am their mom. I am who God wanted for my children. He chose me to raise them for Him, whether or not I’m crafty and fun.

Have you ever felt the pressure of social media causing you to feel inadequate in areas of your life?


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  • Bailey

    Lydia you are such a great mom!!!! Seriously!!!! Honestly you are such a role model to me in being a wife and mom and I’m so thankful for your example.

    • Bailey, I literally tear up every time I read this comment. You are such an encouragement to me!

    • Bailey, I literally tear up every time I read this comment. You are such an encouragement to me!

  • Bailey

    Lydia you are such a great mom!!!! Seriously!!!! Honestly you are such a role model to me in being a wife and mom and I’m so thankful for your example.

  • Raker Eldridge

    Thanks for the tears! I’m sitting in a room of 6th graders and tears are falling. I’m so glad you are their mom! You’re the best to help each one. I remember reading an article in BH&G. A man mowed & trimmed his yard and thought it was beautiful…until he picked up a magazine and saw a perfect lawn complete with outdoor grill, sitting area, pond and gazebo. He looked at his used-to-be beautiful lawn and felt disgust. How could his feelings have gone from beautiful to disgusting with the turn of a page? I used to think of all my failures as a parent, too. I look back and wish I could change things, but overall, I think they caught what was important. I’ve listened to their “life commands” and am pleased. One of my life commands was “women are only good for breeding,” and my kids don’t say that. I love watching with your babies. They push and pull, but in the end they are hoping for the security of a boundary. I’m so glad you are their mom!

  • AshleyWalkup

    I love this!! I’m that crafty mom and hate the rude comments I get from people who aren’t crafty. I’m bad at sooooo many things but crafts isn’t one of them (well, usually, some end up pretty terrible!). God has given us all different abilities and the children He made just for us to raise. I love this post so much!!

    • Amen!! Ashley, I am so sorry that you have been on the receiving end of rude comments. Honestly, I think the reason people are rude is because they’re jealous. I know it’s not an excuse. But, just like when I would feel inadequate about not being a crafty mom, I’m sure others feel that same way, and some just don’t handle it as gracefully. So, they lash out. Some moms, like yourself, just thrive on crafts with their kids and are really good at it! I’m secretly (well, not so secret now, HA!) jealous of you crafty moms because I wish I was good at that, but I seriously do not have patience for it. I’m a super crafty person, but I’m also a perfectionist. Yeah, when it comes to crafting with kids, perfectionism has to go out the window, and that drives me bonkers. lol! I tried crafting a few times with my kids, and I think it was more frustrating for all of us than it was fun. Yet, I still get jealous of crafty moms. I seriously have issues. LOL! Anyway, once again, I’m so sorry that you have received rude comments about your crafty posts. I just want to tell you that I think you crafty moms are AWESOME!

    • Amen!! Ashley, I am so sorry that you have been on the receiving end of rude comments. Honestly, I think the reason people are rude is because they’re jealous. I know it’s not an excuse. But, just like when I would feel inadequate about not being a crafty mom, I’m sure others feel that same way, and some just don’t handle it as gracefully. So, they lash out. Some moms, like yourself, just thrive on crafts with their kids and are really good at it! I’m secretly (well, not so secret now, HA!) jealous of you crafty moms because I wish I was good at that, but I seriously do not have patience for it. I’m a super crafty person, but I’m also a perfectionist. Yeah, when it comes to crafting with kids, perfectionism has to go out the window, and that drives me bonkers. lol! I tried crafting a few times with my kids, and I think it was more frustrating for all of us than it was fun. Yet, I still get jealous of crafty moms. I seriously have issues. LOL! Anyway, once again, I’m so sorry that you have received rude comments about your crafty posts. I just want to tell you that I think you crafty moms are AWESOME!

  • Arrows and Warriors

    This is so so good.. I have defiantly been there girl.. I feel like social media can be such a great tool but when I’m feeling weary as a mama I tend to avoid social media just because of that very reason. When I’m having a rough day as a mom someone else is going to Disney Land 😀 It’s the way it is. Arrowsandwarriors.org

  • Arrows and Warriors

    This is so so good.. I have defiantly been there girl.. I feel like social media can be such a great tool but when I’m feeling weary as a mama I tend to avoid social media just because of that very reason. When I’m having a rough day as a mom someone else is going to Disney Land 😀 It’s the way it is. Arrowsandwarriors.org

    • I completely agree about the ups and downs of social media! I seriously need to stay off of it when I’m feeling tired or depressed, but I’m always tired, so there’s that. lol!

    • I completely agree about the ups and downs of social media! I seriously need to stay off of it when I’m feeling tired or depressed, but I’m always tired, so there’s that. lol!

  • Arrows and Warriors

    Newest blog lovin follower btw 🙂 I’m looking forward to future posts.

  • Simply Jaclyn

    Thanks for sharing! And yes, I felt exactly like this! Last year, I tried to start my blog & felt completely inadequate when I would see all the DIY & recipes. I am very FAR from creative and can barely follow a recipe. It actually triggered my anxiety. But now, I have started FRESH, and decided to write about who I truly am – and whoever would like to read it will. Because I know I am a cool mom to my kids 😉

    I am so glad I’m not the only one!

    • Girl, I still feel inadequate in my blog, and I’ve been writing for a couple years now. Ack! Granted, I did take huge chunks of time off while I was popping out babies. lol! But, YES to starting fresh and just writing about who you are! Readers LOVE transparent people, and when you let them into your world, they’re more apt to stick around and continue to love you even when you take big breaks from your blog! What’s your url, by the way? I’d love to check out your blog!

      • Simply Jaclyn

        Thanks for the encouraging words! I definitely feel that this time around is a lot better!
        My url is : http://www.simplyjaclyn.com
        I would LOVE for you to stop on by … thank you for the support!

    • Girl, I still feel inadequate in my blog, and I’ve been writing for a couple years now. Ack! Granted, I did take huge chunks of time off while I was popping out babies. lol! But, YES to starting fresh and just writing about who you are! Readers LOVE transparent people, and when you let them into your world, they’re more apt to stick around and continue to love you even when you take big breaks from your blog! What’s your url, by the way? I’d love to check out your blog!