My parents and I were getting ready to walk into a magical, olden-time Christmas village. I was pushing my stroller, with our infant son snuggled up inside. It was cold and snowy – the perfect time to visit the Christmas village. This was a tradition. We loved always coming here, and I was excited to be joining my family for the tradition again!
I pulled out my camera and was ready to start snapping pictures when a bright red, “no card in camera,” message blinked back at me.
Tears welled up in my eyes and a heavy cloud filled my chest. With a lump in my throat and trying to keep my tears at bay, I said out loud, “The camera card is not in my camera.”
“It’s okay, Lydia. You can use my camera,” my dad replied.
Rationality left me, and I lost it. Tears erupted down my cheeks, as a panicked feeling overtook me. Continue reading →
As I reflect on this past year and all that has happened, there has been a multitude of highs and lows. Big things are playing out in our family’s life right now, but the one that has topped the charts was welcoming my husband home from deployment!
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“Mommy, why does daddy have to work for so long? Why can’t he come back?”
A lump caught in my throat as I bit my lip to fight the tears that threatened to spill out. There was no denying it had been a rough day for us. Daddy was already gone for several months, and we were still waiting for the end to be in sight. That day was particularly rough for all of us, and my 3-year old son was just expressing his desire for daddy to return from deployment.
He didn’t understand why daddy had to be gone for so long.
I continued to stroke his hair while his head laid in my lap.
“Daddy just has a very special job, buddy, and he can’t come home until it’s finished. But, I know he thinks about you every single day and he can’t wait to give you a great big bear hug!”
“Yeah,” he smiled. I could still hear the pain in his voice.
You may remember that I had written a deployment goals post back in May. In that post, I outlined my goals for my personal life, blogging, Etsy shops, and photography. These are goals that I want to try to accomplish before my husband returns from his deployment.
I know we’re almost halfway through July already, but I wanted to give my update for how I did in June.
Overall, I’m not so sure I did too well, considering the kids and I spent almost all month traveling (which is something I will definitely be blogging about in the coming weeks).
People say it gets easier. I say they’re lying. It doesn’t get easier. It never gets easier. In fact, it gets harder. Each time, watching that bus pulling away, not knowing if you just had your last kiss. Not knowing if he’ll be in your arms again. Easier? No. Do you learn to manage better? I think so.
We recently had to say “see you later” to our favorite person. It was not easy. It was painful and heartbreaking.