Tag Archives: love

What To Do When Your Spouse Is Changed By Combat

I gripped the steering wheel as if it was my one and only lifeline. Hot, angry, hurt tears made trails on my cheeks as I watched the radio clock tick another minute.

Midnight. 12 a.m.

It was a new day, but I felt as though it was a night that was going to linger endlessly and never take the pain away. Our one year old son (our only child at the time) slept peacefully in his car seat, clueless of what was going on.

Clueless. Oh, how I wanted to be clueless of the man my husband had become. I wanted to be clueless of the fact that the man who returned from Afghanistan was not the same man I had tearfully kissed goodbye several months back.

I noticed it that ride home after our initially joyful reunion. The man sitting next to me had changed. He had become a stranger, despite the countless letters we wrote during the deployment.

As the months went by, I noticed how different he’d become. He struggled with his belief in God. He became angry and distant. He grew stressed. His fuse drew shorter and shorter, and he became all too familiar with the taste of alcohol.

I found myself praying every morning; praying that we would have a good day that day. That I would be able to reach through the shell of the man I had married.

He never became abusive. He was just angry . . . all the time. He said things I knew he didn’t truly mean. But, I was weary. I watched the man I loved so much deteriorate before my eyes. I felt as though I didn’t even know him anymore.

Then, we found out we were pregnant with our second baby. I was terrified. I did not want to bring another baby into this. I did not want our children to suffer with a father who was slowly becoming an alcoholic.

I released the grip of the steering wheel to pick up my cell phone. I paused as I listened for the voice of my mother-in-law.

“Mom? I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. Evan got drunk again and we fought, and it was awful. I left. I have Ian in the car, and we’re sitting in the Walmart parking lot. I’m prepared to just drive right now and leave. We might be at your house tomorrow.”

I was serious. I was ready to leave without even saying goodbye. I wasn’t thinking divorce. I just wanted to get away; for us to take a break from each other. My husband needed help, but I didn’t know how to help him.

Then, my mother-in-law surprised me.

“Lydia, you know that dad and I will be here to welcome you with open arms if you decide to leave. But, is this really what you want? Are you sure you’re ready to throw in the towel just yet? Leaving might make him wake up to what he’s doing, but it also might not be the best solution. If you can work through it, don’t give up just yet.”

I cried. No, sobbed. I didn’t want to leave, but I also didn’t want to stay. I didn’t want another night of alcohol, another night of fighting that would just leave me full of hurt and praying for the man I originally married to come back.

changed by combat

I put the car into drive and found myself on the dimly lit road back to our home. Continue reading

Making Long Distance Love Letters Last A Lifetime

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MyGo2Pen #CollectiveBias

I can’t let our love letters become a distant memory.

long distance love letters

One of the harsh realities of military life is the ongoing long distance that it brings. Deployments are just a part of the norm. We military wives know to expect to spend several months away from the men we love every other year, and even sometimes every year. We inadvertently kind of become experts at writing long distance love letters.

My husband and I are in that cruel reality yet again, and I’m longing for the day that we’re back together. So, I decided to create this love letter for him. Continue reading

The Marine Behind The Blog: On Having A Girl

A while ago, I saw a “Boy Behind The Blog” link-up that I had wanted to get involved in but never got around to. That link-up has been over for a long time, but I still loved the idea. So, I wanted to start doing a “Marine Behind The Blog” series. I write so much about our lives, but rarely do you ever hear from my husband. Here’s your opportunity to get to know him a little better. (Btw, I think he is such a hottie in this picture! Just sayin.)

Lydia Maternity Web-1 Continue reading

Guest Post: The “R” Word

Today, my blog is being taken over again by Sierra & Faith of Winks and Eyerolls! If you remember, these lovely ladies took over my blog last Tuesday when one of them shared a post about how family history can shape your idea of relationships. It’s a great post! If you haven’t read it yet, please be sure to hop over and check {it} out. I also want to remind you that they still have an awesome giveaway going on! You can enter in the rafflecopter below. (The giveaway ends tomorrow at 11:59 p.m. EST.)

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The “R” Word

Relationships

The “R” word, some are running from it and others are running around like a chicken with their heads chopped off in order to find the perfect person.  I’m talking about “Relationships.” The time in one’s life where we discuss our perfect match with our friends, make lists, read books and magazines, you name it, anything to make us feel as if we are getting closer to our perfect match. Will we ever really find our perfect match? I truly believe that Continue reading

Guest Post: Online Dating Tales

Today, Bailey from Becoming Bailey is taking over the blog to share with you a little about her experiences with online dating. Bailey has become a dear bloggy friend, and her blog has been both entertaining and encouraging. One of my favorite things that she writes is her Online Dating Chronicles. If I’m ever in need of a good chuckle, I will seriously pop on her blog and catch up on her latest online dating ordeals. I think I’m drawn to these tales, because all three of my sisters and I did the online dating scene. My sisters all married men they met online. Evan and I didn’t meet online, but I had actually come across his online profile before we met. (Oops! Did I never tell you that? Maybe I should fill you in on that sometime.) Now, before I turn this into a full-blown blog post of my own, I will turn it over to Bailey. Please be sure to stop by her blog and show some love!

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Last week, I turned the ripe old age of 22. So when people hear that I have an online dating profile, they’re shocked. “But you’re so YOUNG?!” Yes, I am. And you know what? I love it.

I made my online dating profile last year when I realized Continue reading

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