A couple weeks back, my blogging friend, Bailey, wrote a post asking for some marriage advice. It wasn’t for her but was actually for her sister. She wanted to give a gift to her sister and brother-in-law; something that would be of help to them. So, she asked for advice from her married friends, things that we married people would have wanted to know and expect about marriage. I looked at Bailey’s request and thought, Uh oh, I’m going to end up writing a book. And write a book, I probably will. There are so many pieces of advice I wished I had gotten in the beginning of our marriage. But, my husband and I have learned and are still learning. I intended to email this to Bailey and then thought that maybe I should just turn it into a blog post and share it with others as well. So, for Brittany and Austen and anyone else who might want to know, here are some of the things I’ve learned from marriage . . .
If I could write a letter to that girl I was five years ago . . .
This is what my letter would say . . .
In just a few, short months you are going to meet the man of your dreams. Crazy, huh? You can now stop thinking that you’re NEVER going to get married! Lydia, that man is going to sweep you off your feet and love you beyond anything you ever imagined. That man is also a United States Marine. Once you finish squealing and dancing around the room, take a seat because I am going to tell you some things that you need to know.
Lydia, the military life is not easy. You are going to face some really rough times. You know that planner that you practically live by? Throw it out the window. Solid schedules will become an illusion to you. In the military, you have to expect the unexpected. All of your plans must be tentative because you never know when a training operation or duty night might come up. I’m telling you this now because I know you, Continue reading →
It’s nearly 2 a.m., and I can’t sleep. So, I thought I’d share something that Evan did for me last week; something that was so sweet and brought me to tears. Based on the things I’m always posting about my husband, you might think we have the “perfect” marriage. We don’t. We have our ups and downs, just like every married couple. I’m not saying that lightly. We’ve had some pretty rough downs. We went from a whirlwind marriage to a whirlwind family. We had to grow up pretty quickly. We didn’t get the “bonding years” of just us before babies. (Now, I’m not saying that people who do get those years have it easier. I’m not saying that at all.)
But, we learned and are still learning. That learning process isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be downright, grit-your-teeth, trudge-through-the-mud difficult. The reason you don’t see very many posts about those moments is Continue reading →
One thing a spouse going into a military marriage has to be prepared for is the effect (of the job) that carries into the night. I don’t exactly know how well my husband slept before I knew him, but I only know the man whose sleeping habits have been affected by a deployment to Iraq, a deployment to Africa, and intensive training.
Evan is an extremely heavy sleeper and does not wake up easily. He talks a lot in his sleep, and I’ve woken up to him wide-eyed and talking but still asleep. Many nights I’ve woken to him shouting orders, yelling about mortars or gunfire, or yelling at people to put their heads down. Most of these nights he’ll be sitting up, eyes wide open, and arms either flailing or “holding” a rifle. I can’t adequately describe the cold, steely look in his eyes.
During those times, I try to not touch him, for fear of startling him. Instead, I calm him with my voice and coax him to lie back down. Once he’s calm, I embrace him tightly and wonder what demons he’s fighting that night.