Tag Archives: weight loss

Why You Need to Stop Being Defined by a Number

I have this peach-colored, stretchy kind of shirt that had been sitting in my shirt drawer for what seemed like forever. It had been a while since I’d last worn it because it seemed to always fit the wrong way.

It hugged all of my curves, both the good ones and the ones that I would rather keep hidden. You know those unattractive back rolls? Yeah, this momma has them. One of these days I won’t have them anymore. I hope.

But, I did just spend several years in a row being pregnant constantly. As much as I tried keeping the weight off, six pregnancies in 5 years (four of them resulting in live births) don’t really give the body adequate time to recover. Throw in a couple years of severe postpartum depression, and you can imagine the impact my weight has received.

I decided to give the shirt another try. I slipped it on and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked slim. I felt beautiful. It didn’t seem to hug my curves like usual. A burst of confidence surged through me!

I got so excited and ran to the bathroom scale. I stepped on it, eager to see my apparent progress. The number that blinked back at me was not what I expected. Instead of losing, I had GAINED two pounds! No, it was not a result of working out and gaining muscle. I haven’t worked out in quite some time. I know; shame on me.

My confidence shattered and sprinkled all over the floor around me. I got off the scale and put it away, discouragement slowly filling inside me.

I stepped in front of the mirror again, and this time I didn’t see the slim woman I saw before. My curves looked awkward, and the shirt no longer seemed flattering.

defined by a number Continue reading

Discouraged

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I feel like I talk about this all the time. I feel like I mention my weight struggle about every ten posts. I can’t help it. Well, I guess I can.  It seems as though it’s something that Satan uses to eat away at my conscience, because he knows it’s one area where I’m vulnerable. I’ve always had trouble with weight gain and have always had an even more difficult time with feeling confident in the body God gave me.

My mind has been struggling with Continue reading

My Weight Struggle

and the friend who helped me find some confidence through it.

 
You might look at this picture and see a happy and confident (pregnant) woman. But, the reality is that inside, I am frustrated and not very confident. What’s holding me back from achieving that complete confidence is my ever-constant battle with my weight. I know what you’re probably thinking right now. Umm, hello, you’re pregnant! Yes, I know. Pretty sure I am the one who is most aware of my pregnant state. But, you see, I have battled with weight my entire life, down to struggling with eating disorders for eleven years. You can read more about that in this post.
By the time my husband came home from deployment back in 2011 and after having had our first son, I had finally gotten down to the best shape I’d ever been in my life. I was so excited about my transformation. I felt confident, happy and amazing; and I finally had the ability to eat like a horse and not have it affect me so much!

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